Bonjour Alice Read online

  Bonjour Alice

  Judi Curtin

  Illustrations: Woody Fox

  For Dan, Annie, Ellen and Brian.

  Many thanks to all my family and friends, who continue to be enthusiastic and supportive, even though the novelty of me being a writer must have worn off years ago.

  Everyone at The O’Brien Press has been great as usual, but extra thanks have to go to my editor, Helen, and to Brenda who ‘minds’ me when I go on tour.

  Thanks to Woody for yet more really funny drawings.

  Thanks to Sarah Webb who is unfailingly generous with advice for her fellow writers.

  Thanks to the many children I’ve met in the past year, who have shared their great ideas about books and writing. Special mention has to go to the children of Gaelscoil na Ríthe in Dunshaughlin, who kindly invited me to open their wonderful new library – go raibh maith agaibh.

  Contents

  Title Page

  Dedication

  Acknowledgements

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chapter Eighteen

  Chapter Nineteen

  Chapter Twenty

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Chapter Thirty

  Chapter Thirty-One

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  About the Author

  Copyright

  Other Books

  Chapter One

  I was sitting in front of a giant-sized bowl of green stuff – cabbage, broccoli, spinach and, worst of all, brussels sprouts. Alice’s mum, Veronica was standing beside me, shaking her long, sharp fingernails near my face.

  ‘Eat every single scrap,’ she said. ‘Or else I’m taking Alice back to live in Dublin, and we’re never coming back to Limerick. Ever.’

  Then Veronica gave an evil laugh, and ran out of the room, slamming the door behind her.

  Tears began to roll down my face, dripping into the bowl of vegetables, making them even soggier and more revolting than they had been before.

  How could she do this to me?

  How could anyone treat a child like this?

  Surely there are laws against this kind of thing?

  Suddenly Mum was beside me. She patted my arm and smiled.

  ‘Don’t mind Veronica,’ she said. ‘She’s just cross because she broke a fingernail. You don’t have to eat all this stuff.’

  As she spoke she took the bowl and scraped every scrap of food into the bin. Then she put another bowl in front of me.

  ‘Here, love,’ she said. ‘Try this instead.’

  I gasped. This bowl was piled high with every kind of sweet I could imagine. It was like something that had come out of Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory. There were sparkling jellies, white chocolate bars, swirly lollipops, and lots, lots more.

  ‘Go on, Megan,’ Mum encouraged me. ‘Eat up, it’ll do you good.’

  I reached into the bowl and took out a bar of white chocolate. I ripped off the wrapper and shoved the chocolate into my mouth. Mmmmm. The chocolate began to melt on my tongue, and my mouth was filled with sweetness. I was reaching for a long pink and purple jelly snake, when I felt my arm being shaken.

  ‘Wake up, Megan, wake up. It’s your birthday, and you don’t want to waste the whole day in bed, do you?’

  I rubbed my eyes, and then opened them slowly. Mum was standing next to my bed, smiling.

  ‘Happy birthday, teenager,’ she said.

  ‘Thanks, Mum,’ I said sleepily.

  Mum held out a parcel, all wrapped up in paper that I’d seen on at least three birthdays already. Mum believes wrapping paper should go on for ever.

  ‘Here, Megan,’ she said. ‘This is from Dad and Rosie and me.’

  I took the parcel. It didn’t feel like a mobile phone – the one thing I wanted more than anything. Still, I wasn’t really surprised. If Mum and Dad gave me a mobile phone, I’d know for sure that I was still dreaming.

  Just then my little sister Rosie appeared at my bedside.

  ‘Happy birthday,’ she said. ‘Can I open your present for you?’

  I smiled at her.

  ‘How about if we do it together?’

  Rosie nodded happily and before I could move, she proceeded to rip every scrap of paper off my present.

  ‘Thanks, Mum,’ I said.

  I tried to smile like this was the best present I’d ever got, but that was kind of hard. Rosie was holding up what looked like about a hundred metres of knitting, in revolting, hairy, brown wool.

  ‘It’s a scarf,’ Mum said helpfully.

  I tried again to smile. A scarf? Who would ever wear a scarf that colour? Or that length? And anyway, it was August.

  ‘I know it’s August,’ said Mum, as if she could read my mind. ‘But I had the scarf finished, and I couldn’t wait to give it to you.’

  I closed my eyes for a second. Maybe I was still asleep. Maybe this was just part of my nightmare.

  It wasn’t though. Rosie jumped on to my bed, and I could feel her hard knees pressing into my stomach as she tried to wrap the revolting scarf around my neck.

  ‘It’s a pretty scarf,’ she said, making me wonder if Mum had ever taken her to have her eyesight checked.

  Mum sat down on the bed beside me.

  ‘That’s only part of your present,’ she said. ‘After breakfast, the three of us are going to town, and I’ll buy you something new to wear. How does that sound?’

  That sounded just perfect.

  ‘Thanks, Mum,’ I said, meaning it this time. ‘I’ll get up now.’

  Mum didn’t move though. She had that dreamy look on her face that meant she was going back in time again.

  ‘My little girl a teenager already. I can’t believe it. I remember this day thirteen years ago. It feels like it was only yesterday. The doctors wanted to give me drugs, but I said no. “I’m having this baby naturally,” I said. And then––’

  I put up my hand.

  ‘Please, Mum. Stop,’ I said. ‘Don’t say any more. It’s much too much information.’

  Mum smiled.

  ‘Sorry,’ she said. ‘I suppose I was getting carried away. I just wish I could make you see what a special day it was for your dad and me. Anyway, get up, and I’ll make you some porridge for breakfast.’

  ‘But it’s my birthday,’ I wailed.

  ‘So it is,’ she smiled. ‘I’ll make you an extra-big bowl.’

  Then she and Rosie went out of the room.

  I lay in bed for another few minutes. I could see through the curtains that it was a beautiful sunny day. It was the holidays. It was my birthday and at last I was a teenager. Surely things couldn’t be any better?

  Then I saw the revolting brown scarf curled up on the end of my bed, like a hairy, brown snake. I had to smile to myself. If only my mum made delicious chocolates for a hobby instead of knitting gross stuff, then my life would be totally perfect.

  Chapter Two

  After I’d finished a dangerously huge bowl of porridge, I stood up to clear off the table.
Mum pushed me gently aside.

  ‘It’s your birthday,’ she said. ‘You don’t have to help.’

  I grinned at her and almost dropped the bowl I’d been holding. Why couldn’t it be my birthday every day?

  ‘Can I call over for Alice?’ I asked.

  Mum nodded, and before she could say anything else I raced out the back door.

  Alice (who is my very best friend in the whole world) gave me a huge hug when she opened her front door.

  ‘Happy birthday,’ she said. ‘It’s nice to have you here with me. It was lonely being a teenager all on my own.’

  ‘Ha, ha,’ I said. ‘Very funny. Not.’

  Alice always gives me a hard time, just because she’s a few days older than me. I pretend not to mind, but secretly I wish I could be the older one.

  Alice dragged me upstairs.

  ‘Come on,’ she said. ‘I have your present.’

  I allowed myself to get excited. Alice always buys great presents. We got into her room, and Alice handed me a tiny package. It was wrapped in never-before-used pink paper, and narrow white ribbons. I gasped. It was almost too beautiful to open. I carefully untied the ribbons, and peeled back the paper. Inside was a tiny white box. I opened the box to reveal a layer of fluffy white cotton wool. I lifted the cotton wool to discover a cute silver flower on a chain. Engraved on the flower was ‘Megan’. I picked it up to look a bit closer.

  ‘Turn it over,’ instructed Alice.

  I did as she said, and saw that on the back it said ‘My best friend’.

  I smiled. The necklace was so beautiful I didn’t know what to say. ‘Thanks’ was the only word I could think of, so I said that, and then gave Alice a huge hug. I hoped that was enough to let her know just how happy I was.

  Finally she struggled free and went to sit on her bed.

  ‘Did your parents get you something nice?’ she asked.

  I hesitated. I didn’t want to be disloyal to Mum and Dad, but how could I pretend to like the revolting scarf?

  ‘Er ……’ I began.

  Alice grinned.

  ‘Is it so nice that you can’t begin to describe it?’

  I grinned back at her. She knew my parents well enough to know the kind of thing they were likely to give me for my birthday.

  ‘Something like that,’ I said. ‘But Mum’s taking me to town later, and she’s going to buy me something new to wear. Do you want to come with us to help me choose?’

  Alice sighed.

  ‘I’d love to,’ she said. ‘But Dad says if my room isn’t tidied by lunch-time, he’s going to flush my phone down the toilet.’

  I laughed. Alice’s dad is great at making up punishments that are never going to happen.

  * * *

  Later, Mum brought Rosie and me to town, like she’d promised. Luckily the summer sales were on, and even Mum couldn’t complain that everything was ‘outrageously expensive’. In the first shop, I tried on a great short skirt and a spaghetti top, and a hoodie. I stood in the changing room and admired myself. I thought I looked great, and I delayed going out to show Mum, because I knew exactly what she would say.

  ‘Hurry up,’ called Mum eventually. ‘Come out and show us how you look.’

  I pulled back the curtain.

  Mum smiled.

  ‘That’s a lovely skirt,’ she said. ‘But where’s the rest of it?’

  ‘Is some lost?’ asked Rosie.

  I smiled at her.

  ‘No, Rosie,’ I said. ‘The skirt is all there. That’s just Mum’s idea of a joke. She means she thinks it’s too short.’

  I turned to Mum.

  ‘I so love this outfit,’ I said. ‘Can I get it? Please, please, please, please, please?’

  And to my total surprise, Mum said,

  ‘Well, in my opinion it’s a bit short. But you’re thirteen now, and I suppose you know what you like. You can get it if that’s what you want.’

  I gave her a huge hug, and didn’t even pull back when her frizzy hair scraped the side of my face. Maybe she was turning into the mother of my dreams after all.

  * * *

  After lunch, Alice came over, with our other friends, Grace and Louise. We hung out for a while, and then we watched a DVD on Grace’s fancy new portable DVD player.

  The day before, I had begged Mum to let us order a pizza for my birthday tea, but she said no. (And I had to put up with a huge long lecture about how bad it would be for us.) Instead she promised to make us ‘a delicious home-made pizza with organic toppings’.

  The girls were really nice about it, and no-one laughed as they were picking funny-looking green things out of their pizza. And no-one complained when they nearly broke their teeth on Mum’s very chewy home-made pizza dough. And when they were going home, everyone said they’d had a really good time and I think they even meant it.

  It had been a good day.

  Chapter Three

  Next morning I sighed when I woke up. It was always like this on the day after my birthday. I felt kind of empty and disappointed because it wasn’t my special day any more. I stayed in bed for ages, reading one of the books Louise had given me for my birthday. I could hear Rosie playing in the kitchen, talking to Sunny, the teddy I brought back from Dublin for her at Hallowe’en.

  After a while, I could hear Mum on the phone in the hall. She was on the phone for ages, which was very unusual, as Mum does not believe in having long phone conversations. I wondered what was so important, but couldn’t find out, as Mum was too far away for me to hear what she was saying.

  When I was half way through my book, I got up. Mum was off the phone at last. She was in the kitchen, tidying up. I stood in the doorway, watching her. She was kind of skipping around, and singing as she worked – very strange, even for her.

  ‘Hi, Mum,’ I said.

  ‘Hi, Megan,’ she said, in a funny sing-song voice.

  ‘What’s going on?’ I asked. ‘Are you planning to enter the next series of The X-Factor?’

  She actually laughed.

  ‘No, I’m not,’ she said.

  ‘Then why are you singing?’

  She stopped scrubbing the sink and turned to face me.

  ‘Because I’m happy, that’s why.’

  I sighed. The last time I’d seen Mum this happy, she was planning a trip with a bunch of crazy hippies to a music festival in Galway. That had all ended in tears when her sister Linda came to mind Rosie and me, and ended up in the middle of one of Alice’s crazy plans to get her parents back together.

  ‘Er ……’ I said. ‘Why exactly are you so happy?’

  Mum beamed at me.

  ‘Because we are all going on a trip, that’s why.’

  I gulped. I so did not want to go on one of her crazy trips. Mum’s idea of a fun day out was a day cleaning a park, or gathering litter from the banks of a river.

  ‘You can ask Alice to come with us, if you like.’

  I shook my head.

  ‘Thanks, but no thanks. Alice actually has a life.’

  Mum made a face when I said that, but she didn’t say anything. I felt a bit guilty, so I smiled at her.

  ‘Where are we going anyway?’

  Mum beamed again.

  ‘Well, Lucy, my friend from the organic gardening club, has a summer house, and she’s always saying that we can borrow it whenever we want, because she hardly ever goes there. And this morning I suddenly decided we could all do with a bit of a break, so I rang Lucy, and she said the house is empty at the moment. She says we can have it for ten days.’

  I still wasn’t very interested. Knowing Mum’s friends, the house was probably a falling-down shack in the middle of nowhere. Mum seemed to be waiting for something else though. I decided to be nice to her. After all, she had bought me that lovely new outfit the day before.

  ‘Where is Lucy’s house?’ I asked.

  Mum spoke lightly.

  ‘Oh, nowhere very special. Just a little village in France.’

  I wasn’t sure I�
��d heard right.

  ‘France?’ I repeated. ‘The house is in France? Like France across the water, next to Germany and all those other foreign countries?’

  Mum laughed.

  ‘Yes. That’s the one.’

  ‘And we’re going there?’

  Mum laughed again.

  ‘Looks like it. I’ve already phoned the travel agents. We got a late booking on the ferry, and it’s a special offer because of a cancellation. So it’s all booked. We’re going on Monday.’

  This was so totally amazing. I’d never been abroad before. I raced across the kitchen, and hugged Mum for ages. She laughed.

  ‘My second hug in two days. You’d better be careful or I’ll start getting used to it.’

  Suddenly I remembered something.

  ‘What did you say about Alice?’ I said.

  Mum smiled.

  ‘Yes, I said Alice can come with us. The price on the ferry is for the car and five passengers, so it won’t even cost any extra, and there’s plenty of room in the house. That’s if you think she’d like to come.’

  I put my head down.

  ‘Sorry about that thing I said earlier,’ I said. ‘I didn’t really mean it.’

  Mum patted my shoulder.

  ‘That’s OK,’ she said. ‘You could both bring your bikes if you like.’

  I smiled. I could suddenly picture Alice and me cycling down a French lane in the sunshine, chatting and laughing over nothing. This was going to be so much fun.

  ‘Do you think her parents will allow her to come?’ I said suddenly.

  Mum nodded.

  ‘I phoned her dad before you got up. He said it’s fine with him, if Alice wants to go.’

  ‘So she knows already?’

  Mum shook her head.

  ‘Probably not. Peter was at work and he was on his way to a meeting. He said he’ll talk to Alice at lunch-time. So if you get there before that, you can be the one to tell her.’

  I grinned. I love telling good news.

  Mum smiled too.

  ‘Now sit down and have some breakfast, and then you can go over to Alice’s and see if she’d like to come with us,’ she said.