Alice Next Door Read online

  Alice opened the door as I approached her doorstep, as if she’d been waiting for me. ‘At last. I’ve been up for hours. Dad wouldn’t let me over. He said it was too early.’

  ‘Yeah. Me too. And I’ve had to do loads of jobs for Mum. You’d think the president was coming to visit.’

  ‘Well, it was worse for me. After breakfast, Dad made me look at old photographs with him. And he got all sad whenever he came to ones of the four of us. His voice kept going all funny, and I thought he was going to cry.’

  ‘Oh no. Gross! What did you do?’

  She giggled. ‘I gave him a speech I heard on telly last week. I said I wanted to be positive, and look ahead, and all that old stuff. So we played Boggle instead. It was boring, but it was worth it. It’s awful you know. Mum and Dad are the grown-ups, but I spend all my time minding them, as if they were the children. I have to be careful all the time. If I’m happy, it’s as if I don’t care that they’ve separated. And if I’m sad, they go all guilty on me.’

  For the first time, I had kind of an idea what it must be like for her.

  ‘Oh, I’m sorry, Al. Is it awful?’

  She nodded. Then she brightened suddenly. ‘Come on upstairs. We have to talk.’

  We went upstairs to her bedroom. It was really untidy, as usual, with clothes strewn everywhere. Around her bedhead there was a string of pale pink flowery lights. They looked really cool.

  Alice saw me looking at them. ‘Dad got them for me. He keeps buying me stuff. It’s the guilt thing again. I’d prefer if things were back the way they used to be though. I could live without these lights.’

  I felt the petals. They were made of a shimmery, pearly kind of plastic, and were really pretty. Like something in a rich kid’s house.

  ‘You can borrow them if you like – when I’m not here,’ offered Alice.

  I sighed. ‘Thanks, but no thanks. You know what my mum’s like. She’d just say they were a waste of electricity, so she wouldn’t let me plug them in. There’d be no point.’

  Alice imitated my mum’s voice. ‘Girls, don’t you know anything about global warming?What do they teach you at school these days?’

  I giggled. Alice was a very good mimic.

  I sat on her new blow-up chair. ‘Now. I’m fed up of waiting. Tell me your plan.’

  Alice threw herself onto her bed, and wriggled in excitement. ‘It’s one of my best. It’s a classic. Simple, but effective.’

  She looked at me intently. ‘Simple is always the best. Then there’s less to go wrong.’

  I was impatient. ‘Cut the waffle, and tell me. What’s your plan?’

  She smiled. ‘Well, you see, I’m going to pretend to go back to Dublin, but I won’t. Dad will think I’m with Mum, and Mum will think I’m with Dad. Like I said, it’s simple. They’ll ….’

  I interrupted her. ‘Yeah, but if you’re not with your mum, and not with your dad, where exactly will you be?’

  ‘That’s the great part. I’ll be staying in your house.’

  My heart sank. Here was the big flaw I’d been afraid of. This plan could never work. I decided it was best to tell Alice now, before she got too excited. ‘Sounds like fun, but my mum and dad will never agree to let you stay. Not if your parents don’t know. You know how parents always stick together. It’s like they have some secret code of honour or something.’

  Alice laughed. ‘That’s the best thing of all. That’s what makes this plan so brilliant. Your mum won’t know I’m there. I’ll be in hiding. I’ll be like a hostage. I’ll sneak into your room, and no one will know, except for us.’

  Already I could see all kinds of problems, but then I suppose that was the difference between me and Alice. I always saw problems where she saw opportunities. ‘How long do you think we’ll get away with this? Until you’re eighteen?’

  Alice shook her head impatiently. ‘Of course not. I’m not a complete dork you know! Dad will go up to Dublin on Friday to visit me, and I won’t be there.’

  That sounded like real trouble. ‘They’ll go crazy.’

  Alice was unconcerned. ‘Well, I suppose they’ll panic a bit. That’s the whole point.’

  ‘And then?’

  ‘And then, before they get really scared, and before they get time to call the guards, I’ll ring and tell them I’m safe, and they’ll be all happy and relieved.’

  I thought I could see where all this was leading. ‘And then they’ll get back together, and the four of you can live happily ever after? I’m sorry Al, but I don’t think it’ll be that easy. I think you’ve watched The Parent Trap once too often.’

  Alice shook her head. ‘Did I mention the fact that I’m not a complete dork? I know that won’t happen. That would never happen. But if Mum finally sees how upset I am about the move, she might just feel sorry enough for me to move back to Limerick. It’s not like she’s got a job or anything in Dublin. She could easily come back here. She could move into one of the new apartments around the corner, and I could go back and forth between her and Dad whenever I liked. It could be almost as good as before. Maybe even better. I wouldn’t have to listen to Mum and Dad fighting all the time. And I could go back to school with you. And we could do stuff after school. It would be the best thing ever.’

  She gave me a huge smile, and all of a sudden the whole thing seemed wonderful, and fantastic and not at all impossible.

  Chapter nine

  Step one of the big plan was to make sure Alice’s dad wasn’t around on Monday afternoon, when she was supposed to be catching the train back to Dublin. That was easy. We approached him after lunch on Sunday, when he was relaxing in their living room with the papers.

  Alice kind of sidled up behind him, and sat on the arm of his chair. She put on her sweetest voice. I thought it sounded a bit over the top, but her dad didn’t seem to notice. ‘Dad, are you playing golf this weekend?’

  He smiled at her. ‘No love. I want to spend time with you, since I see so little of you these days.’

  ‘But Dad, I don’t mind, honestly. I know how much you love playing golf. Isn’t there a competition on tomorrow afternoon?’

  We knew already that there was. We’d checked it in the local paper.

  Alice’s dad sat up, and began to look interested. ‘Well, now you mention it, there is actually. I could…’

  He hesitated. ‘No, I couldn’t. How would I get you to the station?’

  Now it was my turn. My voice was even sweeter than Alice’s. ‘My dad has already offered. He has to pick up some things from his office tomorrow evening. It wouldn’t be any trouble. He says it’s fine.’

  Alice’s dad looked closely at me. I opened my eyes wide and tried to look innocent. I’d never be as pretty as Melissa, but luckily I was blessed with the kind of face that adults seemed to trust. I smiled my best smile.

  It worked. He looked at Alice again. ‘And you’re sure you don’t mind?’

  She smiled at him. ‘Quite sure.’

  He thought for a moment. ‘You know, you’re two very considerate girls. I haven’t played golf for weeks. It would be good to get out to hit a few balls. I’ll just run next door, and thank your dad, Megan.’

  He got up and went towards the door.

  I had to think fast. ‘No, don’t. It’s fine. He’s busy. He’s very busy actually. He’s em, em…. He’s changing Rosie’s nappy.’

  Alice added. ‘She’s got terrible diarrhoea. It’s not a pretty sight, I promise. And the smell! Think really really gross, and then double it. It’s like………’

  I gave Alice a funny look. She was getting carried away as usual. She stopped talking and I continued. ‘It just isn’t very nice, believe me.’

  Her dad sat down again. Luckily he didn’t know that Rosie hadn’t worn a nappy for at least a year. ‘Oh, fine so. I’ll thank him the next time I see him. Alice, get me the phone, won’t you? I must ring up and book a tee-time.’

  Alice got him the phone, and then we ran upstairs. We gave a quiet cheer and a hi
gh-five. Success! Step one was done and dusted.

  * * *

  Next day, I stood in my front garden and watched Alice hugging her dad, as he was leaving for golf.

  ‘See you Friday, love. Only four days. Isn’t that nice?Tell your mother I’ll be there around seven.’

  She beamed at him. ‘Yeah Dad. I will. Only four days. Great.’

  He gave her one more hug, then he checked his watch, and jumped into the car. He wound down the window, and looked at me. ‘You’re sure it’s OK with your mum and dad? Should I go in and talk to them?’

  Alice put on her exasperated voice. ‘Dad, relax. Take a chill-pill or something. I’m spending the afternoon with Megan. I’ve already brought my stuff into her house, and her dad will drive me to the station at five o’clock. It’s all sorted. Now go and play your golf before it’s too late. Love you.’

  She leaned in and kissed his cheek, and then he drove off.

  It was a lovely afternoon. We spent a lot of time playing basketball shots, and chatting, just like in the old days. It was a nice feeling, knowing that we were going to be together so much for the next few days.

  At five o’clock, we went into the sunroom of our house. Dad was dozing, Rosie was playing with her dolls on the floor, and Mum was reading the paper. ‘Alice has come to say goodbye, Mum. She has to go now.’

  Mum looked up from her paper. ‘Oh dear. The weekend went so quickly, didn’t it? Long weekends are never quite long enough, are they?’ She went to get up. ‘I’ll wave you off.’

  Oh no. How could I get her to stay inside? If she went out she’d see that Alice’s dad’s car wasn’t there, and everything would be ruined. Sudden drastic action was called for. I did a very mean thing. I leaned down and gave Rosie a quick, hard pinch on the shoulder. Her reaction was immediate. She gave a huge howl, and tears began to pour down her puckered-up face. I mentally promised to give her some sweets later to make up for being so mean. Alice took her chance. ‘I’ll go so. Dad’s waiting. Bye everybody.’

  Mum was so busy consoling Rosie that all thoughts of following us were gone.

  We went out the front door. We stayed outside for about ten minutes, then I went back in. Rosie was happy again, though she did give me a funny kind of look. Dad was still asleep, and Mum was engrossed in the paper.

  ‘I’m going to my room for a while,’ I said.

  Mum looked up. I put on a sad face, and she gave me a sympathetic smile. ‘Oh, OK dear. I’ll call you when it’s time for tea. It’s pancakes.’

  I went to my room. Luckily, I slept downstairs, in what used to be the garage. I even had my own little shower room, right next door. It was a perfect set-up for hiding friends, though I’m sure that’s not what Mum and Dad had in mind when they allowed me to move down there.

  I opened the bedroom window, and gave a low whistle, the special signal we had agreed earlier. Alice appeared from the bushes at the side of the house, carrying her weekend bag, and the sleeping bag we’d borrowed from her house. She climbed in, and we hid her stuff in the wardrobe. Then we sat on the bed and giggled quietly for a while. I was excited and happy and afraid all at once.

  Soon Mum came to call me for tea. Luckily, I’d insisted for the past year that she and Dad knock before coming into my room, explaining that at the age of twelve, I needed some privacy. So when Mum tapped on the door, Alice had plenty of time to roll under the bed, out of sight. It worked fine – but then it should have – she’d practised about a hundred times already.

  I ate my tea as quickly as possible, and went back to my room. Poor Alice wasn’t happy. ‘Oh, Meg. Those pancakes smelled so good. Couldn’t you even get me a small scrap?’

  I shook my head. ‘Sorry, Al. No point taking foolish chances. How could I explain if I was caught sneaking pancakes into my room? Mum never allows me to eat in here.’

  She sighed. ‘Yeah, I suppose you’re right.’

  I smiled at her. ‘Anyway, don’t worry, we’ve got loads of food.’

  I went to my wardrobe and pulled out the bag we’d been filling ever since we’d started to plan. Alice looked inside.

  ‘Hmm. Apples or bananas or biscuits or cream crackers. I don’t know where to begin.’

  Suddenly all the carefully stashed food looked a bit pathetic, and I felt a bit guilty at the thought of the seven yummy, golden, buttery, lemony pancakes I’d just scoffed.

  I spoke encouragingly. ‘Don’t worry, Al. This is just for tonight. We’ll get better stuff tomorrow.’

  She shrugged, and bit into an apple. ‘Doesn’t matter, I can be brave. And it’ll all be worth it in the end. You’ll see.’

  Chapter ten

  I went into the living room at eight o’clock that evening. Mum looked up from patching Rosie’s pyjamas. Surely I lived in the only family in Ireland where the kids were expected to wear patched pyjamas. I couldn’t help commenting, even though I knew Mum wouldn’t pay much attention to my opinion.

  ‘Mum, we’re not poor. Dad has a good job. Can’t you just buy Rosie some new pyjamas? They have lovely ones in Dunnes Stores and they cost less than ten euro.’

  Mum sighed. ‘Megan, how many times do I have to tell you? It’s not about the money. It’s about the environment. I can’t in conscience throw these pyjamas in the bin just because they’re a bit worn at the knees.’

  Dad looked up and laughed. ‘A bit worn? Actually, Sheila, they’re transparent.’

  Mum gave him a really filthy look, and he stopped laughing. I was sorry I’d started the whole thing. I spoke as brightly as I could. ‘Actually, I just came in to say I’m going to bed.’

  Mum put down her sewing and felt my forehead. ‘Aren’t you well, love? It’s not like you to volunteer to go to bed. Especially when you’ve no school tomorrow.’

  I tried to put on a tired smile. ‘I’m fine, Mum, really. I’m just wrecked. I mustn’t have slept well last night. I might read for a little while.’

  Mum still looked puzzled, but she just said, ‘OK so, love. Goodnight. Don’t forget to brush your teeth. I’ll be in in a while to tuck you in.’

  I knew there was no point in arguing. I figured that if I was twenty, Mum would still have to tuck me in at night. I’d be coming home from discos at three in the morning, and Mum would be there in her dressing gown and slippers, waiting to tuck me in.

  Alice would just have to be ready to hide when she came.

  I kissed Dad, and skipped off to my room. So far, so good.

  I changed into my pyjamas, and went into the bathroom next to my room, and locked the door. I opened the window, and gave the whistle signal. Then Alice climbed out through my bedroom window, and in the bathroom window. I climbed out of the bathroom window, and hung around in the garden until Alice was finished. It was very cold. I decided that the next night I’d stay in my clothes for that part. Then Alice climbed out of the bathroom window, and I climbed in. I went to the toilet, did my teeth and washed my face and hands. Then I unlocked the bathroom door, and sauntered back down the hallway to my room.

  Alice was waiting for me, lying in her sleeping bag on the floor next to my bed. She laughed quietly. “Whew. That was kind of complicated, wasn’t it? We’re going to be very good at climbing by Friday. We’ll be ready to tackle Mount Everest.”

  I laughed too. ‘Just be glad I don’t sleep upstairs.’

  She sighed. ‘Yeah, I suppose. Still, are you sure I couldn’t chance just running along the hall to the bathroom?’

  I shook my head. ‘No way. We’re not taking any chances. And I’m not risking you bumping into Mum or Dad. I want this to work.’

  It was true. Although I’d been a bit doubtful at first, I was sure by then that Alice had devised a brilliant plan. It had to work. It just had to. All I could think of was having Alice back in Limerick for good. As soon as possible. I wanted us to be in the same class again. I wanted us to make our confirmation on the same day. I wanted us to go to the same secondary school, and still be best friends when we were really old –
like seventeen or eighteen or something. And if I had to spend a few days climbing in and out of windows to achieve that, well it seemed to me that was a small price to pay.

  Alice looked at her watch and panicked suddenly. ‘Oh no, it’s time to ring Mum. This is the hardest part, I know. What’ll we do if she doesn’t believe me?’

  I tried to sound confident. ‘Of course she’ll believe you. Why wouldn’t she? It’ll be fine, I promise.’

  I was a bit worried though. Alice was always the chief planner, and if she got scared, I wasn’t sure I could keep things going for long.

  Alice looked at me doubtfully as she took out her mobile phone. Then, still in her sleeping bag, she wriggled onto my bed like a giant purple and pink snake. She settled herself on one of my pillows, and dialled her mum’s number.

  I put my ear next to hers so I could hear both sides of the conversation.

  ‘Hi Mum. It’s me, Alice.’

  ‘Oh, hello, dear. I was just getting ready to go to the station to pick you up. Is the train on time?’

  ‘Well, actually, I’m not on the train. I’m feeling a bit sick, so Dad said I could stay here in Limerick.’

  Her mum sounded rather impatient.

  ‘Sick? What’s wrong? Wasn’t Daddy minding you properly? Did he let you catch cold? Isn’t that just typical!’

  Alice spoke in a soothing kind of voice, like the one my mum uses with Rosie. ‘No, Mum. It’s not Dad’s fault. I have a bit of a tummy bug, that’s all, and I couldn’t face the train.’

  Her mother gave a long sigh. ‘OK. Not much we can do now anyway, is there? I suppose there are no more trains tonight. Can you put Daddy on please?’

  Alice hesitated. ‘Well, actually, I can’t right now. He went out.’

  Now her mum sounded really cross. ‘Out? Out where? How could he leave you on your own when you’re sick? What on earth is that foolish man thinking of?’

  ‘Look, Mum, I’m not going to die, you know. I’m not all that sick. Just too sick to travel. And Dad’s been minding me really well all weekend, so I insisted that he go out for a while.’